Pomp and Circumstance
by random fanfic writer
Summary: It's Emma's graduation day. So why doesn't it feel more . . . momentous? Oneshot.


**A/N: I wrote this for Eva, who felt their needed to be more fluff in this world. As I have shared it elsewhere, I figured I should share it here. My take on the second wave of graduates. I don't own Degrassi. If I did . . . well, see the dreamer in my title?**

Emma woke up feeling disoriented.

She was in her own bed, but still couldn't shake the odd sensation. It took her a minute to remember why it was there. Oh, right. Today was the last day of Degrassi. The last day of her childhood, the first day of the rest of her life, or some other horrid cliché. So many of her victories, so many of her nightmares, so much of her _life_ was within those four walls. It would just be odd to be leaving all that behind.

Emma rolled out of her bed and into the shower. The last time she would shower before high school. It felt odd . . . yet, familiar? She knew it should feel momentous, but what was momentous about shampoo?

She dried off, turning to her closet. Normally there would be huge piles of discarded options. Not so today. A single pale pink sundress hung amongst empty hangers. Everything else had been packed, either in boxes for her dorm room next fall or in the giant trunk upstairs for her graduation trip/summer job working for Caitlin in Los Angeles. Her mother had helped pick the dress out for her last weekend at the mall as Emma tried not to think about all the events that had happened there over the past eighteen years. Flirting with Chris at the cd display, 'retail therapy' with her mother during a PMS experience, a disastrous first date . . .

"EMMA!" Snake yelled down to her basement room. "We don't want to be late!"

Emma hurriedly changed into said sundress and with the fastest blow out on record, was hopping upstairs as she simultaneously tried to slip into her strappy pink sandals. Emma looked back at her room. She would be a graduate the next time she set foot inside. Done with sneaking in and out the window, whether it be back from a rave, after a party at the Kerwins' or from one of her less than proudest moments at the ravine.

Taking a breath, Emma walked into the kitchen and paused again. Upstairs where she had watched the news reports like a zombie that fateful afternoon two years ago. Where she and Manny had made breakfast together following countless sleepovers, where she had eavesdropped on her parents concern for her following the shooting and where she had to tell them those concerns were not unfounded. So many Degrassi memories were stuck inside her home. Would it still be home now that she was done with Degrassi? Or would it be only a shell of what it had been over the past four years?

Her mother was waiting in the living room, holding Emma's graduation gown and trying to hold back tears, while Snake waiting at the door with Jack, the former looking slightly annoyed and the latter just bewildered.

Emma smiled softly. "Mom, save some of that for when you hear Emma Nelson read by Ms. Hatzilakos today, okay?"

Spike sniffed. "I'll try. It's just . . . you're my baby girl. I can still remember when you were just about Jack's age . . ."

'When I was Jack's age it was _your_ high school graduation you were attending,' Emma thought, but wisely kept silent. It was better to let her mother have this moment and as many others as she needed, than have her mother bring it up every Christmas for the rest of their lives.

The drive to Degrassi was silent, other than the muffled sniffs from Spike in the front seat. Jack was completely mesmerized by the tassel of Emma's cap hanging from a hook as it swayed with the car's movements; Snake was silent, lost in his own thoughts.

Emma caught sight of the Dot as they drove by. Again, she was almost overcome with memories, even though she hadn't set foot in the Dot since Jay started working there. But that didn't change the times the fab four with or without Liberty had gone for a milkshake there after school and awkward dates with Chris. The less pleasant memories assaulted her as well, from Jay's stealing attempts that she thwarted to the moment she had tripped Rick, setting into motion a chain of events that he had not survived.

Then they were driving by the park and she was 13 watching Angie after school. Maybe she was 10 and lounging on the tire swing with Manny, JT darting around telling lame jokes. Maybe Vancouver via Los Angeles was _not_ the path was meant to take. Emma's parents, grandparents, as far back as anyone could remember was based in Toronto. Was it worth losing generations of geographic heritage to be on her own?

Emma realized that the internal debate would have to be tabled as they pulled into the Degrassi parking lot. Whether or not she stayed in Toronto, this would be the last time she would approach the stairs of Degrassi Community School as a student.

It had been six years ago that she had helped her mother unload the car with mementos for the alumni reunion. In a blink of an eye she would be here for her own reunion.

"Em, I'm going to take your mother and Jack to scope out the best seats," Snake explaining, touching her elbow almost apologetically. It was as if he didn't want to break her from her reverie. "The graduates are changing . . ."

"I know where to go, Dad. It was only on seven million flyers this past month," Emma rolled her eyes as she retrieved her cap and gown from him.

"Okay, Em." He started to go, but then turned back to huge her fiercely. "I'm proud of you, you know? You made it." And with that he was gone, ushering her family into the building.

Emma took a minute to pause at the steps and look up at the sign. Degrassi Community School. How many times had she dreaded seeing those letters the first day back from summer vacation? How excited had she been to see them the first day of Grade 7? And how many moments had taken place right here?

It was the same everywhere Emma went. The entry way, the media lab – heck, even the ladies room off the lunch room corridor – all had played vital roles as the settings for the defining moments of Emma's life. And now that was all over. Emma wasn't naïve enough to believe she was completely grown up, but realistic enough to know that all the lessons Degrassi had to teach her had already been taught.

In the words of JT from the cursed Dracula play? Exit, stage left Ms. Nelson.

She walked slowly towards the classroom where excited voices told her she was not the first to arrive, trying to hold onto this ambiance, that - while not pleasant - was something she had never felt before and instinctively knew should be savored as once in a lifetime.

Until she got to the hallway. In that very spot, her life had changed. Most people change over their 6 years of junior and senior high. But usually it was gradually, no one moment making much more of a difference than the others. That wasn't true in Emma's case.

In this hallway, the Emma that had spent 14 years being a happy, relatively carefree child had disappeared with a few words and one unforgettable sound. While Emma wasn't sure that you could honestly _wish_ to be innocent again, she could wish that her transition had been less abrupt and painful.

"EMMA!" A familiar voice shrieked and all at once Manny was hugging her and jumping up and down. Any somber 'poor me' traces couldn't help but be expelled by Manny's overwhelming exuberance.

"We did it! We did it!" She squealed.

Emma turned into the hug and squeezed back hard. "We did!"

"You know there were times that I never thought the two of you could possibly make it out of this hell hole alive," a dry voice commented.

"Well, Tobes, we never got caught hacking into the school computer and changing grades," Manny shot back. "What you should have been worried about was your own future at Degrassi, not us fabulous females!"

"_Riiiiiiiight_," JT drawled the words out, before making some witty comment that Emma tuned out. While the lighthearted reminiscing was fun, it couldn't help but reinforce that this was the last time the four of them would be together for a long time, possibly forever.

Manny was moving out to LA with Emma for the summer, true, to try and audition for once and for all, legally able to get a work permit for the United States. But unlike Emma, she wasn't on planning on leaving once summer ended; convinced she had what it took to go all the way. Emma supposed that Craig's recording contract in that area had more than a little to do with it, despite what her best friend would argue.

JT was staying put and, if the ring on Liberty's finger was any indication, planning on working full time right away. While Emma wished desperately he would be going onto school, she also realized just how pressing their umm . . . extraneous circumstances were.

Toby was going to school, but not as everyone had suspected, into computer programming. Taking over the Grapevine when Liberty had been indisposed had apparently lit a fire under the would-be computer geek and he now had been bit by the journalism bug. Emma had to admit that his editorials had a feeling that Lib's more analytical and preachy ones had not. The boy had some talent. And fortunately for his parents, still a bit shell-shocked by Ashley's hasty exit two years ago, the University right in Toronto had one of the best journalism programs anywhere.

Emma realized that everyone else had fallen silent as well. "So . . ." she started lamely.

"Yeah," Manny chimed in.

"We'll always have Pari- I mean, Degrassi?" JT quipped, bringing a small smile to Emma's lips.

"Graduates, time to line up!" Mrs. Kwan shouted over the noise and the foursome didn't have time to ponder the event much more, lost in a swirl of red robes and last minute hair spiffing.

And then they were marching, slowly, to Pomp and Circumstance, the unofficial-official graduation song. Emma couldn't see much, surrounded by flashbulbs and shadowy, smiling faces.

The whole graduation ceremony was a blur. For the first time in her life, Emma knew the feelings the Peanuts' characters must have felt with the "wamp wamp wamp wah wah" vocabulary of the adults. It all just faded away as she remembered all the events that happened in the gym/auditorium. The floor hockey grudge match, teasing Chris to get him re-interested, the gymnastics meet where Manny collapsed, the wrestling match where Toby collapsed, the dances . . . the good and the bad and the ugly dresses. So much had happened in this one room.

Rising up to get her diploma with her row, Emma felt a momentary panic. No good had ever come from this stage. Not the quiz show, not the Dracula play, nothing good ever. Looking out over the crowd at her mom and Snake though she felt herself relaxing slightly. This time, it would be different.

She scanned the crowd, looking for another familiar face. Emma realized it was stupid to think he would be here, but she had at least hoped.

"Emma Christine Nelson," Ms. Hatzilakos read and suddenly Emma was moving forward. Emma was in her seat before she knew it, a shiny certificate of participation in her lap. Her diploma would be mailed to her when it was verified she actually had, indeed, passed her finals, but basically she was done with Degrassi. It was funny – she didn't feel any older or wiser. In fact, the moment she had received her diploma had _just_ happened and Emma didn't even remember it, really. Or really remember feeling _anything _at all.

If anything, Emma felt strangely incomplete. Something was missing as she tossed her cap, none the less with the requisite smile in place. Something was missing as she processed out with her classmates one last time. Something was missing as she received hugs some frantic, some restrained from various classmates, teachers, relatives and friends.

But for the life of her, Emma couldn't figure out what that something was.

As they walked back to the family car to make their way towards various graduation parties, Emma glanced over at the tree-line on the other side of the street. The ravine. The site of her least memorable moments at Degrassi.

Emma didn't know when she would next be back this way, but she knew that this was one place at least she had to say good-bye to.

"Hey, Dad?" She called out to Snake. "I forgot something inside. You go on to the restaurant; I'll catch a ride with JT or Manny."

Snake looked unsure, but nodded. Emma saw her mother start to argue, but then think better of it and get into the car. Emma started back up the steps, at least until the family car was well out of sight.

Lying to her parents about where she was in order to sneak off to the ravine one last time? It seemed fitting, somehow.

Emma made her way down the brush filled slope, carefully picking her footing. The pink strappy sandals didn't seem quite as cute when brought on a makeshift hike. In fact, they seemed more than a little ridiculous. However, the peace and quiet to reflect was appreciated, not that the noise and busy-ness of the Degrassi graduation ceremony had halted her contemplations any.

She reached the grass that signaled Bennett Park and reached down to pull the sandals off, placing her tired feet into the soft grass one at a time. When she looked up, he was there, sitting on a picnic table, almost as if he had been waiting for her.

"How did you . . . ?" Emma couldn't phrase the question, but she knew he understood, just the same.

"I had a feeling you might need a friend today," he said as if that was explanation enough.

And in some strange way it was all she needed to hear before she was in his arms, sobbing and laughing and just being held, maybe for the last time, by Sean Hope Cameron.

Everything today had in some way revolved around him. The memories of the kitchen tainted by that more than forgettable sushi night where he felt he hadn't measured up. At the mall, images from the horrid first date had over powered everything else. The Dot only reminded her of the moment when she had found out it was Sean who had helped steal her stepfather's laptop and the feelings of utter betrayal that had left behind. The media lab where they had first met and bonded over a project about his dog of all things, the steps where he had signed her tampon petition, the gym where they first danced and where he had grudgingly agreed to go to the luau party with her, although not in costume, she remembered with a smile. The hallway where she had stood up to Tracker and the hallway where he had saved her life.

Degrassi Community School in some way wasn't Degrassi at all, without Sean and Emma.

She pulled back to look into his eyes, tear tracks streaking her cheeks. "But, Sean, how did you know where to find me?" she asked, glancing around the ravine dubiously.

"Well, a little blueJay told me you had come here a while back to find yourself," he started and Emma lowered her eyes, blushing deeply. Sean lifted her chin slowly with one had until she had to meet his gaze. She didn't see pity or anger or disgust there, but only regret.

"I figured it was about time you remembered the real Emma Nelson again," he whispered. And then his lips were on hers. Through a haze of intoxication that only Sean could bring, Emma finally felt that she had been able to close the door on her years in high school. And more importantly that today _was_ the first day of the rest of her life.


End file.
